A row of bottles on my shelf
Caused me to analyse myself.
One yellow pill I have to pop
Goes to my heart so it won't stop.
A little white one that I take
Goes to my hands so they won't shake.
The blue ones that I use a lot
Tell me I'm happy when I'm not.
The purple pill goes to my brain
And tells me that I have no pain.
The capsules tell me not to wheeze
Or cough or choke or even sneeze.
The red ones the smallest of them all
Go to my blood so I won't fall.
The orange ones, very big and bright
Prevent my leg cramps in the night.
Such an array of brilliant pills
Helping to cure all kinds of ills.
But what I'd really like to know....................
Is what tells each one where to go?
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to
look for
it. Matter of fact I am sitting here thinking how nice it
is that
wrinkles don't hurt!
Courtesy of Sharon Stanford Tranter
Lowe Accountants.
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1. "You
know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces
and wonder what else you could do while you're down
there."
George Burns.
|
2. "He is alive,
but only in the sense that he can't be legally buried."
Geoffrey Madan
|
3. "A man's only
as old as the woman he feels."
Groucho Marx.
|
4. "People ask
me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh
birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit."
George Burns.
|
5. "I don't feel
old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time
for my nap."
Bob Hope
|
6. "When I was
a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick."
George Burns
|
7. "I don't plan
to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until
my ears meet."
Rita Rudner.
|
8. "I do wish I
could tell you my age but it's impossible. It keeps
changing all the time."
Greer Garson.
|
9. "Retirement
at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I
still had pimples."
George Burns
|
10. "Another good
thing about being poor is that when you are seventy
your children will not have declared you legally insane
in order to gain control of your estate."
Woody Allen
|
11. "I'm very pleased
to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased
to be anywhere."
George Burns.
|
12. "Except for
an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever
did."
Robert Benchley
|
13. "Blessed are
the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt."
Herbert Hoover
|
14. "I'm at the
age now where just putting my cigar in it's holder is
a thrill."
George Burns
|
15. "Sex at the
age of eighty-four is a wonderful experience. Especially
the one in the winter."
Milton Berle
|
16. "The secret
of longevity is to keep breathing."
Sophie Tucker
|
Sophie Tucker
17. "At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get
my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm
not there I carry on as usual."
Patrick Moore.
|
18. "I'm very proud
of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed,
sold me this watch."
Woody Allen.
|
19. "At my age
flowers scare me."
George Burns.
|
20. "My
grandmother was a very tough woman. She burried three
husbands and two of them were just napping."
Rita Rudner
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